The compliment every white guy in a movie has given his movie girlfriend: Wow.. you.. you look great.
dogcorn: you unfollowed the wrong motherfucker
kingruffalo: why does everything cost money
discosmackdown: eh, getting late, guess i’d better go to be— ……………………………….
canieatthisshit: consequentialism: if i had a dollar for every time i was a third wheel
homosex: eponiner: So my thirteen year old brother always asks to use my video camera. And I never knew why. But today I opened iMovie for the first time in months and THIS IS WHAT I FOUND. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK. omg what
tyrannia: in the future if my kids tell me that they are gay i’ll just be like “what” because i don’t plan on having any kids so how the hell did they get there
swaggywhale: inno-cent: listening to a song about a relationship and thinking I can’t relate to this at all #but my otp can
octagonfordays: first michael jackson and now neil armstrong wow i guess god’s not a fan of moonwalkers
*Chatting about marriage and divorce rates in Australia*
Girl in my class: Marriage rates have actually gone down according to google.
Me: Well let gays get married and that marriage rate will go up.
Teacher: God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve.
Me: Yeah, well, God didn't create boob jobs but you still have one.
buttfrump: so at Target/Walmart they have these packs of mini avengers they’re blind packages with 3 different avengers in each bag i only needed Tony, Iron Man, and Hawkeye to complete my collection, so when my dad came home with this, i was crossing my fingers that they were all in here wait… what’s this? … i-
mister-comedy: I just made an anonymous e-mail address and sent this to my music teacher without any description whatsoever
Someone: Wow you got fat
Me: Wow who stabbed that knife in your face